Here’s the question.
If you could wake up tomorrow, and have an inbox full of anything — what would it be?
With the exception of something like “offers of large checks for no reason” -(which, by the way, your inbox is already full of, check your spam)
Your answer is useful.
Really useful.
It’s probably more useful than whatever you imagine your wildest dreams are, or your deepest darkest secret wish. Because it’s not clouded by fame or success, or however you conceptualize external validation. It’s just: what do you actually want to engage with?
What gives you energy instead of sucking energy from you like a emotional and/or regular vampire?
When I think about what I actually want people to send to me, what I actually get excited about, it’s usually their writing.
I learned through a lot of messy trial and error that what I did NOT want an inbox full of:
+ requests for a “quick graphic”
+ unsolicited intense first draft gender thoughts from coworkers (if you’re reading this and you’re feeling intense shame abt some random email thread we had I promise this is not you.)
+ press releases of any kind.
I think this question is also helpful in distinguishing your dreams from your goals.
The things that you like the idea of doing v. the things that you actually want to do.
Here are some of the things that in theory, I would love to do:
+ tarot readings
+ write speculative fiction about reparations and land tax policy, or the future in terms of POLICY
+ write romance novels
+ teach embodiment, be a therapist, or do some sort of weird bodyweight fitness trainer thing
+ I don’t know, maybe teach sex ed? Everyone I’ve ever dated taught sex Ed, is there something going on there?
While these are all wonderful ideas and dreams, there’s a big problem with them.
It’s a thought experiment. This is fine, I like attention, it’s fine.
But when thinking about where I want to put most of my public, purpose related energy?
These are probably not the place to start.
Another reason I like this thought experiment — it controls for:
1. Things you might eventually like to do, but aren’t equipped to do right now.
2. Shit that you might feel shame or weird society shit about.
I would love to have an inbox full of other people’s fiction. In theory.
But in practice, because I’m not very good at it yet, I find other people’s fiction in my inbox, unless it comes attached to a clear deadline or project I am working on, stresses me out. This is not others people’s fault, its just where I’m at. Someday I will not feel this way (that’s when I’m going to make the course “writing fiction for organizers.”) but I’m not there yet. Same with the other ideas — if I take a weird bodyweight fitness course, or learn more about tarot, my feelings might change.
But I’m not there right now.
Look, I write fanfiction.
It’s bonkers. I love reading fanfiction. It’s bonkers. The tropes and weird shit about our psyches people, including myself, are fulfilling, are nuts and wonderful.
I think it rules, and everyone should write it.
Do I want an inbox full of fanfiction (that has no goal but id fulfillment in mind?)
Absolutely not.
In contrast, here’s what I never feel bad or weird about in my inbox, even when I can’t get to it immediately, or don’t have the energy to respond quickly:
- emails with other people’s writing in it, even if they are just starting out.
- requests, no matter how vague, for help with messaging, workflow, or storytelling brainstorming for a big project or campaign, including working with other people to get buy in on it.
- random thoughts people have about storytelling tropes in work, social change, their personal shit, the body. (This one is big because I usually find TV shows I haven’t watched or books I haven’t read stressful — I knew this one was big when people were like, “ oh my God, here’s a thought I had about wandavision” and I wasn’t like “ ahh! I need to watch wandavision! “)
- anytime people had a feeling, especially shame, and noticed it.
And when I imagine all of the things that can go wrong when you have an inbox full of someone else’s writing (vulnerability! The intense expectations! The fear and anxiety!)
Well, it freaks me out a little.
But it freaks me out a lot less than when I was paralyzed and frozen by an inbox full of the aforementioned items.
I have more to do to really answer this question.
But knowing it’s writing, just writing, is miles ahead of where I used to be.
So what about you?
What kinds of things do you want your inbox to be full of?
Originally published at https://notesonfeednet.substack.com.
