“How many bridges do you think the HRC’s operational budget could build? “
Here’s a story I think about all the time.
It happened a decade ago.
I was ranting about some group or the other that had been problematic, how the group I was working for at the time was going to stage an action at HRC’s headquarters, everyone would arrested.
To protest I don’t know, some shit.
How they didn’t have any trans or POC staff. Or they did have trans or POC staff, but they didn’t pay them enough.
Zenen, listening intently, as he often does, looked at me for a second, then said:
“How many bridges do you think the HRC’s budget could build?”
I did not see this question coming, so I stopped mid rant.
“ Uh… What? “I asked.
“ How many bridges do you think the HRC’s operational budget could build? “
That’s all he said.
That question planted a seed in my head that led to me well, admittedly continuing to work with shitty microorganizations for another eight years.
But!
He had started a train of thought in my mind I’ve never been able to get out of my head.
AND EVENTUALLY, it paid off.
What did he mean by “ how many bridges could the HRC build with their budget? “
He meant that, the HRC, an organization with relatively minimal power in the greater scheme of things, had very little to do with the power players in the world.
And even if we are able to change this one person, or, better yet, somehow shut down the entirety of the HRC for the rest of the world, very little I was worried about would change.
He also meant “ what the fuck are you doing with your life, dude? “
But in a nice way.
The group I was working for at that time was putting a lot of energy and resources towards… a relatively ineffective goal.
And we could’ve been using those resources in a lot of other ways.
In short, there were plenty of targets, plenty of places we could’ve put those resources that would have had a bigger impact, and could’ve disrupted those organizations.
How many bridges can you buy with the HRC’s budget?
One of the biggest barriers to people being real about bridge money is really freaking baseline.
It has nothing to do with scale or strategy or targets.
It has everything to do with, well, you know.
My favorite topic.
Feelings.
People are afraid to go after bridge money because they feel ashamed.
They feel guilty about the resources that they have.
Instead of using those resources to be effective, it’s easier to go lower, to keep your strategy and your bridge money limited so you don’t have to deal with guilt.
Paradoxically, this comes from the opposite of hope: it comes from despair.
Despair and shame keep us from not just imagining but building a hopeful future.
Because shame will not let us act at the scale we need to be acting in order to make anything happen.
It will not let us do anything with the power we already possess.
Because in order to do that, we would have to admit to ourselves that we have power, and we are not using it because we are ashamed.
What a waste of bridge money, am I right?
So what would it take to scale up for you?
To scale up your locus of control?
How does it make you feel?
Originally published at https://notesonfeednet.substack.com.
